


Love is but a nightmare

by RukiaSR



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Dark, Dark Romance, F/M, Fantasy, Has an oc but not quite an OC?, I Don't Even Know, I dont know how to tag, When gods are evil and play with mortals, god!hyuk, really based of different concepts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 00:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14884518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RukiaSR/pseuds/RukiaSR
Summary: Hongbin is trapped, on many different aspects and for what seems like eternity. And it is cruel he believes, even when told that he had it coming.





	Love is but a nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work I made for a challenge, a concept retelling one (which I loved) and we could retell the concept of any Vixx mv and such and I made a mixx of concepts. Fantasy (death) + zelos (jealousy) + eternity (time)  
> I am not sure if I should call this work Hongbin centric maybe since this is not a M/M work? But still I hope you like.

Hongbin believes that escaping the crowded gathering at his residence and reaching the grand gardens that surround the place was the greatest idea he has had the whole night. He walks off alone as the sound from the music filling the salon he had been at becomes less and less audible the farther his steps take him.

And his steps decide to take him to the person he has wanted to see all night, as if they knew all along where he’d rather be, the one person who aimed at his heart directly and had successfully stolen it for herself. It doesn’t take long for him to smile, it doesn’t take long for his heart to skip beats upon seeing her right in front of him, looking dazzling enough that she could beat the beauty of any flower or star.

It has been months since they met each other, yet he feels like it has been longer than that, it feels like an eternity he believes. He doesn’t ever want to see an end to his time with her and when he hears her speak that night, he listen to her ask the question he has been longing to hear for a long time. It is the precise question he wanted to listen to, and he wonders if it is because he may be connected to her on some deep level. Or if it is fate.  _It is fate,_  he tells himself and he acknowledges that he is being cheesy but that doesn’t matter at this point.

“Have you ever fallen in love with someone to the point of madness?” Hongbin hears her ask with an unfading smile that warms his heart as soon as the melody of her voice utters that question.  _It is you, I love to the point it borders insanity_ , he wants to claim, “I have” her voice states in a whisper that sends shivers down his spine in expectation, “I love you to the point of madness” she softly declares. Her voice is filled with all the love in the world and her eyes gaze at him, as though there was nowhere else for her to gaze in the world—because she feels that upon confessing her immeasurable and undying love for Hongbin, the only place her eyes long to be looking at is him. And to him, she is his whole world. He can relate to what she is feeling right now as he has also been dying to voice the words locked in his heart that have been waiting to make themselves audible—he would even allow for the whole world to hear them, and if he could, he would undoubtedly shout them out for every single soul to hear.

“What I want to say is that I’m madly in love with you” he sees her playing with her hair shyly, biting on her bottom lip as her gaze now is on the floor trying to avoid his. He knows she is embarrassed but hearing those words just make him even more ecstatic than he was.

His lips curve into a soft smile that brightens everything that surrounds them both and makes her heart skip as his speeds up after hearing her words full of love, his dimples becoming visible in a way that just melts her heart and makes a smile form in her lips in response, “And I to the point of insanity” he confesses, feeling as if he was chained up to her very being. For his soul, his heart and mind are hers and hers only. Hongbin just wishes for this to last forever and not get forgotten in the depths of time, for their story to be engraved in the sky like the vast quantity of stars that are illuminating them on this very night.

 _“Just take more of me, I was struck down by the arrow you shot_ ” he declares as he approaches her and holds her in his arms “ _Take more of me_ ” a whisper escapes his lips and softly brushes against her ear, “ _Take all of me_ ”.

From that day onwards, Hongbin sees his life as complete, his days as complete the moment he sees her or speaks to her. At times he can’t help feeling like he may die from sweetness overdose, but he tries his best to restrain those feelings and accept that it is a part of being in love. And even if he can’t stand being cheesy, he does, just so he can’t put a smile on her face.

However, as time passes, since that fated day Hongbin also can’t help but dislike it when he sees her at times smiling to colleagues at work. Or when he sees her being kind to other men and he tries to fight those feelings, trying to remember that it means nothing but kind gestures.  _She is in love with me, right? You love me, right?_ He asks himself.  _She belongs to me, right?_  He manages to convince himself that maybe he is just being too paranoid about little actions that are nothing but friendly gestures from her, so he never mentions them.

 _It doesn’t mean anything_ , he repeats, incessantly. It has been a year since that day, he has proposed to her and all of her belongs to him-- she will belong to him in every way.  _Those little things don’t mean anything_ , he says to himself. He tries to blame the nature of his thoughts on paranoia-- that he is only exaggerating and possibly being overly dramatic.

 And he doesn’t make mention of any of the things that are constantly bothering him out of fear she might think he is going to react in an aggressive way.

However, Hongbin thinks that now he may have the right to actually feel something is off. She has become distant in a way he doesn’t like, her mind always seems to be everywhere else but on him. And he thinks he is going insane the night he arrives at their apartment and sees a male figure that towers over his fiancée, arms wrapped around her frame tightly, holding the woman that belongs to him. But as he takes a step forward, said figure disappears from his sight, it vanishes right before his eyes and it leaves him in a state of utter confusion. 

He doesn’t mention anything that night when they both go to sleep, but he feels the need to hold her tight against his chest and not let go at all that night.  _She will think I have gone crazy for real and leave_ , his mind tells him. Yet he is always met with a loving touch on top of his hands,  _she still loves me, right?_

Days go by, and Hongbin always sees that figure in his apartment, he sees the same man following his fiancée closely at work, when she is out and about, even when they have meetings at works. And it is starting to concern him, he thinks he should make an appointment with an specialist to know what is happening to him. However, he tosses the idea aside knowing that he has somewhere important to be at today.

He has to take the woman that will soon be his bride to an atelier so she can choose her dress for the day she is wed to him. He has heard it will bring bad luck if a man sees his fiancée with her wedding dress, but he doesn’t want to be superstitious. So he doesn’t mind, in fact, seeing her eagerly trying on different dresses until she finds ‘the one’ has him sharing the same feelings as her. Hongbin tries to reassure himself that he is doing the right thing by being here and taking in all the beauty from the woman he sees as his own.

But something doesn’t feel right, he can’t fight the thoughts that tell him that something is definitely strange in all this and for a reason he can’t seem to comprehend-he feels like someone is trying to steal the love of his life from his arms and right in his face. Hongbin feels concerned and he is seriously considering making an appointment with a psychologist, he needs to be reassured that he is probably just stressed and nothing is wrong with his mind--he wants reassuring words, he wants to know he is alright.

The moment he goes out of the changing room for a while to make himself feel at ease, he swears that at the corner of his eyes he sees someone walking right past him, slightly taller than him and with an almost porcelain complexion, the aura about him is almost otherworldly, mixed with eeriness that makes Hongbin’s steps abruptly come to a halt. Hongbin turns around rapidly but there is no trace of that presence and all that is left is a chilly sensation running through his whole system as though the air conditioning system had dropped many degrees in the blink of an eye.

He hastily makes his way inside the changing room only to be met with an unpleasant sight, the man he had seen walking past him is sitting beside his bride-to-be, his fingers are tracing the side of her arm and one of his hands is placed at her chin. Hongbin can only stare in shock, his eyes widening and his hand turning into a fist as he sees a man that isn’t himself laying hands on the woman that he loves, the woman that is his and his only.

What irks him more is the fact that she doesn’t seem to mind the contact, that she doesn’t even acknowledge his presence. Another man is touching her the day she is trying on the dress she is going to wear the day they finally belong to one another forever, and she is not doing anything to stop him. And this man dares approach her even more closely, carefully leaning towards her, coming closer to her neck and placing a kiss on that spot, his lips on a spot no one else was supposed to touch.

Anger is rapidly making Hongbin’s blood boil, and he snaps the moment his eyes meet with the man’s. A smirk drawn on his face, a smirk that is definitely the sign this stranger is mocking him, that he is enjoying seeing Hongbin infuriated. He can’t help the rage taking over him and he lunges their way, he wants to grab the male’s hand and toss him aside but instead, he ends up grasping her arm and making her yelp in pain. Hongbin doesn’t see the young male anymore, he only sees himself forcefully grabbing her, his eyes filled with fury.

She blinks as she looks into his eyes, “W-what is wrong with you Hongbin?” she stutters as she tries to look for an answer in his expression, in his eyes. She feels scared and Hongbin knows, but he is mad that she is looking at him clueless like nothing had happened.

He violently makes her rise to her feet and goes face to face with her, “Who was that?”

“What do you mean?” he hears her reply, he rolls his eyes when he hears her say this and even scoffs. It is even more irritating that she is playing dumb and pretending not to know what had happened.

“Drop the act!” Hongbin shouts, startling her, “Who have you been cheating on me with? Why have you been lying to me?!”

“What are you on about?!” she yells back, and he can see that anger is also taking hold of her but he really believes she has no right to be angry at him when she was the one being unfaithful to him and when she had waited until that day to make it known to him. To break the news to him in a significant moment like the one they were sharing. It hurts, he feels like his heart is shattering,  _Just why today?_  his mind asks him and the jealousy clouds him.

“Drop the damn act!” is what he yells before he grasps her wrist in his hand and drags her out of the place, not listening at all to her complaints and questioning, not wanting to listen to anything else until they are back at their apartment.  _Why is she doing this to me?_  He asks himself as he throws her inside his car and locks the door as she protests.

The ride is full of shouting from them both, accusations are being thrown left and right by Hongbin in his clouded state of mind, he can’t see clearly at all. He feels betrayed and at the same feels he has lost it when he remembers the young man he saw vanished from his sight as soon as he approached him, he still feels irritated by the smirk the man gave him and it only makes him speed up.

“Hongbin slow down!” she yells, but he won’t listen to her, “Slow down, don’t drive like that!”

“Why have you cheated on me?!” he shouts as a punch lands on the steering wheel, it startles them both, his actions surprise the two of them. And to him the fact that  _she went from Snow White to a witch overnight, meant something was clearly wrong_.

“I haven’t cheated on you!”

“Shut up! Was I not enough to you? Where is your so called maddening love?!” He lets it all out, all the foreign feelings that had been slowly taking control of him are showing up in rising yells that are scaring him but that he can’t control, “Since when have you been deceiving me?!”

“I haven’t done that!” she denies, but he doesn’t seem to believe her.

“Since when have you made another man enter our home?! You took another man inside our home didn’t you?!”

“I haven’t at all! Are you crazy or what?!”

“You darned liar!”

The speed with which Hongbin is driving turns deadly, so deadly to the point all seems blurry in front of him, and he doesn’t slow down, he doesn’t want to slow down, she tries to get him to stop but Hongbin yells at her not to touch him.

And it gets to a point he feels he has no control, over his car, over himself, over his own feelings. He feels he has lost all control and it makes itself more evident when a car from the opposite lane almost crashes onto his own. Luck was only on his side for a short fragment of time though, and he accelerates uncontrollably and menacingly.

“I thought you were mine!” is the last thing Hongbin shouts as he loses control over his car, and at a deadly intersection, another car comes his way and plows into his vehicle, making it flip endlessly on the road, the car is rolling over the road and he is feeling each hit painfully. His windows are instantly cracked and he can’t even see anything anymore. The car finally stops, upside down on the road and all he sees around him are shards surrounding him, after all that flipping he is barely conscious. He groans as his eyes are shutting tight in pain, he was way too reckless and now he doesn’t know what to do, he can’t even move an inch. He slowly turns his head to the side to check on her as he pronounces her name, but there is no response coming. He only stares at her as he sees her eyes closed, and blood trailing a path of crimson in her neck. It must be the crash but Hongbin swears he is seeing the same man he saw at the atelier, at his flat, that he is seeing him right there, crouching, smirking at him as he sees him there in utter pain.

“She was supposed to be mine… Lee Hongbin”, Hongbin hears the young man say and even if he grits his teeth at what he hears, he is helpless and can’t retaliate. His eyes are getting heavier, his breathing slower, he slowly closes them and even when hearing the deafening sounds of ambulances approaching, all Hongbin sees is black. His mind blank. His body numb and all is silence around him, an eerie silence that consumes him like a black hole killing every bright a star ever had and leading it to its demise.

When he awakes a blinding light surrounds him, a blank ceiling stares back at him and the first thing he does is wonder where on earth he is. Thousands of question rush through his confused mind as he is only met with white wherever his gaze lands on. A beep suddenly startles him, and he soon finds out it comes from a machine monitoring his heartbeats. He realizes he is hospitalized as the accident replays in his mind, he tries asking everyone that comes by about the state of his fiancée and he even mentions how they are soon to turn into husband and wife, he pleads for information but neither the nurses nor doctors let him know anything. They only tell him that it is a miracle he made it out alive, yet this doesn’t answer his questions. This doesn’t calm him down in the slightest.

A few days pass by, but they seem longer than they are in reality—he just wants to be out of this place soon because he is starting to feel sick rather than healthier. The smell of medicine surrounding him is starting to turn sickening. He still has scratches on different parts of his body and bruises are engraved on his skin, yet nothing feels worse than the asphyxiating anxiety he is feeling.

Once he is discharged, he approaches the counter and asks about the state of his fiancée. He swears he sees shock spreading across the face of the woman behind the counter, “She is not here anymore” He doesn’t listen to anything else and rushes out of the hospital, leaving the nurse without allowing for her to finish her explanation. Not caring about the shouting that follows as he runs out of the hospital.

He makes it back to his apartment, hoping he will find her there, wanting madly to apologize to her for causing this to them both. However, when he sets foot on his floor he sees a bouquet of white daisies at the step of his door, a note attached to it grabs his curiosity and he picks it up. He is in shock upon reading it and realization hits him, “I am sorry for your loss Hongbin, please be strong and take these to the graveyard.” He recognizes the handwriting, it is from his hyung and his right hand at work, Cha Hakyeon. He makes his way inside his flat and is met with a feeling of emptiness that engulfs him, he loathes the sensation that has taken over him and rapidly goes for the phone on his house, dialing Hakyeon’s number in a haste.

“Hyung?”

“Hongbinnie?! Why didn’t you wait to be picked up?!” the older male asks alarmed when hearing Hongbin almost about to break into tears, his ragged breathing giving him away, “Please try to calm down”

“How do you want me to calm down?! What is going on hyung?! Why did you leave flowers at my doorstep?!”

A few seconds of silence follow before Hakyeon speaks again.

“We buried your fiancée yesterday”, it only takes that for Hongbin to break down and sink on his sofa in bewilderment. Hakyeon hears Hongbin sobbing so hard he really believes the younger male will pass out at any moment, “Hongbin, she died the very same day of the crash and nothing could be done to help her”

Hongbin brings a hand to his face in anger, pain and frustration; feelings that are threatening to shatter him the same way the shards shattered right in front of him on that cursed day, “Please wait right there, don’t do anything irrational—I will drop by your apartment so----“

The call comes to an abrupt end as Hongbin hangs up on Hakyeon, being rational is the last thing he wants to do upon hearing the news. He rushes towards his bathroom and lets the falling water from his shower drench every bit of him, his clothes are damped and the cold is piercing through his skin and making his bruises and scratches sting badly. As thorns digging into him, but it is nothing comparing to the pain he feels in his heart. Unhinged thoughts are filling his mind and he is starting to consider every single way he can end his life right at that moment. He sees his shaving machine on the sink and thinks he could plug it into an outlet while he is soaked in water and end himself right there, he is considering going to the kitchen and looking for the perfect knife that could help him slit his wrists, he is even finding the idea of jumping off his balcony and crashing on the pavement extremely appealing. Appealing, mesmerizing even.

But the moment he steps up he feels a hand stopping him, “I wanted to see you like this” a whisper that makes him freeze on the spot send chills down his spine. The touch is cold, soft and freezing, almost like the touch of a butterfly but he feels like this touch is threatening to take every bit of his life, “You don’t know me, Lee Hongbin, or perhaps you do” and the way his name is being pronounced is even scary to him, “I know you well though”

His eyes are slowly closing as he can see a foggy aura surrounding him, “I know you too well” and before he passes out, he manages to see the reflection on his mirror _, it is him again_ , Hongbin thinks before all trail of thought is lost as he collapses to the ground.

When he comes to, Hongbin finds himself in a dark room, a door in front of him that seems to be the only thing illuminating the place. He swears he was at his bathroom trying to find a way to end his life but he is sure he didn’t take anything that would make him have hallucinations, he is really sure that he isn’t high. Hongbin slowly stands up, lost regarding where to head now and how to go back home. He feels fear travelling all over his body, this place is chilly, eerie, haunting—he just wants to leave as soon as possible.

“You are awake” the same person appears by his side. A dark shirt with some silver body chains on top of it cover his frame, he is dressed all in black and what seems to be a necklace made of thorns is carefully wrapped around his neck and Hongbin just doesn’t understand how the man is not bleeding by now. His eyes are studying Hongbin intensely and he feels uneasy due to the constant staring.

“Just who are you—why do you keep appearing before me?” he finally asks, it is the question he has wanted to ask for a long time now and he now has been able to do so. He waits for a reply and he sees the seemingly young male stare at him for a long while before a laugh filled with sarcasm is made audible.

“Clueless mere mortal” he states, “I am something beyond your comprehension”

“Mere mortal?”

“Nothing but a mortal who dared steal what was mine”

Hongbin blinks in confusion, he really doesn’t seem to understand what is being said to him neither what this man is talking about, “Who are you?” is the only thing he manages to ask.

“I am the embodiment of jealousy and conflict, Zelos but…” the young man approaches Hongbin and places a hand on the back of his neck, his face so close to him he can even feel the man’s breathing against his skin. He is immobile, in shock at what he is hearing, “In my disguise as a mortal, I go by the name of Han Sanghyuk. I walk side by side among the living, causing for conflicts to arise between--it is funny,huh? Gods still love to toy with humans up until the present day”

“What are you on abou--?”

“Ssh-silence, you have no right to speak. Not you who happened to steal the woman I wanted for myself, and it is because of you that I had to force her demise and see her meet a tragic ending”

Hongbin drops to his knees still confused by what he is hearing but the feelings of guilt are slowly taking over him, “Oh, are you feeling sad now? Confused? Guilty perhaps? You see Lee Hongbin, I have brought you here to inflict punishment upon your soul because a life without her won’t be enough punishment for you”

Hongbin hears the visually young male claim, he is feeling blank and at the same time he wonders how being without her won’t be enough punishment to what he has supposedly done?

“Cross the door” he hears Sanghyuk command, “Cross the door and step into the Fields of Asphodel, try to find your way until you reach Elysium if you are a worthy mortal, take a step inside if you want to be given another chance and the option for eternity”

Hongbin is confused by the words he is being told, but the mentions of another chance make him stand up, albeit slowly, and walked towards the door, “Why?” he asks but Sanghyuk is nowhere to be found. He frowns as his hand reaches the doorknob in this strange dream- he is trying to convince himself that this is nothing but a mere dream and that he will awake the moment he does as he was told. But the idea of the eternity he has been promised sounds too good as well, without hesitation he turns the doorknob and opens the door. It seems there is nothing at the other side and he idly stares for some seconds before he finally decides to walk past that threshold.

Black. All that surrounds him is darkness. And when he wakes up he is met with the ceiling of his room above him, he blinks many times trying to understand what is happening but his thoughts are cut off when he feels a soft touch on his arm, startling him on the spot.

“Go back to sleep” he hears her voice mumble, he thinks he must have gone insane already. And the shock is greater when he turns his head to the side and sees her close to him, her body resting next to his. He doesn’t know if everything before this was nothing but a dream that seemed more like a nightmare, however, he is sure that whatever it was, it surely seemed too real to be a dream or an hallucination. He only holds her in his arms feeling thankful that she is there, with him again and not buried six feet under a tombstone.

When morning arrives he takes notice of his calendar on his phone, the date taking him by surprise as his eyes open wide in shock, “Don’t forget the appointment at the atelier later on the week!” he sees her rushing out of their flat, being left puzzled as his eyes keep on gazing at his phone, the number staring at him like it is playing a joke on him. It is 5 days before the day they had the accident, and as the days pass he can’t help but to notice they are replaying in the precise same way. And it scares him to the point he cancels the appointment at the atelier in hopes this will spare him from the imminent fate that he knows is awaiting him.

He doesn’t care if this ends up making her angry, her constant protesting and claims that he probably doesn’t want to marry any longer. He keeps getting asked what is wrong with him but he doesn’t reply, he’d rather stand this little argument instead of the one that lead to her death.

But fate is something you can’t avoid and can’t escape when it has been written already. That day, he only wants to be home, safe, unharmed, for them both to make it to the following day. For her eyes not to close that day and for her breathing not to stop. Though, even if Hongbin tries to fool fate, it doesn’t allow him to do that and if it was done on revenge, it makes the ride home haunting, intimidating, scary. Deadly.

For the fight the two have on their way on that rainy night signs their death sentence. “I had such a scary and bad nightmare” Hongbin manages to say in attempt to stop their shouting, “You left me forever” are the last words he says to her that night.

Hongbin loses all kind of control he has over the car, desperation taking over him rapidly as his vehicle seems like it has been possessed by something out of his control. He tries to regain control but it is futile—he is going to crash and he knows there is nothing he can do to stop this, “Time to turn back the clock” is the last thing he hears alongside the screams full of panic she gives as the car impacts against a lamp post that gives away upon collision and collapses on top of his vehicle like an avalanche that annihilates any trace of life as it passes, that is trying to erase his very existence.  That is trying to erase him and her both.

The deafening sound of the collision prevents him from having any kind of reaction and he sits immobile in total disbelief as he sees his front window shattering right before his eyes before blacking out upon impact.

The moment he awakes, he feels sharp pains in every single inch of his skin and when he tries to move, a stinging sensation in his stomach makes him stop every movement. When he glances down all he can see are shards digging in different spots on his body, and one of bigger size cuts into abdomen deeply.

“Someone... help” he chokes as the pieces of glass are piercing through him like thorns threatening to dig into him deeper by the second until they take all of him, until he is no more. What kind of nightmare is this? Even if all the villains in the world gathered, they wouldn’t be so cruel. In the dead end of the cold haunting night that is menacingly being tainted in crimson right in front of him, he prays to the sky that this was nothing but a dream, but it doesn’t come true.

His mind incessantly tells him he shouldn’t have walked past that door before him, that his dream was nothing but mere fabrications of his scarred mind-just the insanity that followed his loss. He tries to reach for her hand and take it into his but he is met with ice the moment he touches her. His eyes tightly shut in a flash, “ _What kind of cruel joke is this_?” he thinks as he is fighting back the tears that are threatening to drown him and asphyxiate him, to hurt him even more than the glass shards are.

“She was supposed to be mine” a voice he seems to recognize speaks closely to his ear, “Now let’s turn back the clock, until you plead for me to take your life” his vision turns blurry and he swears he sees the figure of Sanghyuk to his side as the air turns heavy around him-he doesn’t know if it is because he is having difficulty breathing as shards from his broken window are digging deeper inside his abdomen, if it is because there is no space between the roof of his car and the lamp post that is threatening to finish his life in a split second and spare him more suffering. The figure is suddenly standing on the other side of the car and it becomes more visible to him as a pair of eyes studies them both, “All mine” he hears whispers that the moment they reach him they make Hongbin feel like every single bit of life is being taken away from him.

“ _Die_ ”

The God snaps his fingers and the lamp post finally gives away fully and plows into the car, taking the little bit of life Hongbin had left in him. And this sinister night is only left with the smirk of a god disguised as human, grinning at his masterpiece, smirking victoriously like the heavens were feeling the same elation he was.

\--

 

“Who do you think you are to break me like this time and time again?! What game are you playing with me?!” Hongbin shouts as he is back at that place, in front of that door, tied to a chair with ropes and thorns. He shouts as anger boils inside him and he tries to struggle to free himself. He has lost count of how many times this has happened, he doesn’t want to know anymore.

It all has been on loop, ever since the day he tried to stop the accident from happening again, it all has been replaying cruelly. Once. Twice. Thrice. He has lost count already. And also, Hongbin is slowly losing his sanity little by little as every single time he sees her die, he has to grieve on every single occasion. It is sadistic, harrowing. A nightmare.  _It’s like a nightmare inside a nightmare_.

Sanghyuk is sitting in front of him, his legs crossed as he is maniacally laughing at Hongbin, stopping at times just to take in his expression, to rejoice at the sight of seeing Hongbin filled with despair, “You haven’t even make it that far, oh we are so disappointed. I am disappointed” the sound of his voice making the air feel somber, Hongbin swears this place can get to be gloomy like hell itself. Or maybe he is in hell, he doesn’t know anymore.

“Why?” he asks as the pain in his body forces him to halt all movement and attempts at escaping--he knows it will end on the same note. He will wake up, days will pass and she will die or they both will; as though the world was keen on erasing every trace of them.

“Because it wasn’t enough punishment to leave you without her” the God answers as he gazes into Hongbin’s eyes, “It will never be enough punishment”

He sees Sanghyuk approaching, placing a hand on his chin and lifting it so he can look directly into the deity’s eyes, “ _She is your tragedy_ ”

Hongbin is slowly consciousness and he knows this is the signal he will wake up again, and it will all be a never ending cycle of madness once more. A fantasy he won’t see the end of, a tragedy swallowing him whole as he is being toyed with by the Gods.

And even death doesn’t allow him to escape. Death isn’t his escape. Before he blacks out again, he sees the figure of the girl he loves, tied in thorns just like him in the arms of the one that is cruelly doing with their lives and deaths as he pleases. “ _All mine, her mind_ ” he hears him say before all turns into darkness. Into dead silence.

_A cruel night is endlessly coming to me._

_And I close my eyes again, taking me back to that dream._

_Into an eternal dream, that I won’t ever wake up from._

 

Darkness is surrounding him in his room, a darkness she cannot light up anymore. Hongbin wakes up and the moment he does, he has his hands on his lover’s throat, pressing hard on it, his fingers digging so deep on her skin while he is just ignoring the pleads for him to stop, which he only does when he is sure she won’t respond to him anymore. His eyes are shedding tears, he is forcefully taking the life of his beloved and he doesn’t care anymore--he is going back to hell again anyway. He is no longer sane, and he can’t control himself any longer. He is broken, they are going to die again anyway, it is better is he is the one that speeds up the process. What more punishment does the god want to give him? He is unsure of it, but he is also going to end himself to make this cycle come to an end as quick as possible, at least this one time.

He knows one thing though, one thing that replays on his mind as he is gazing at the pavement from above, his hands grasping the edges of his balcony tightly. Eyes fixed on the abyss that awaits him.

His love. This love. And love in general.

_Love is a nightmare. It is heaven and hell._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! And eh would love to hear your impressions thanks and if you would like to um..please comment since comments make me happy?;_; thank you *goes away awkwardly*
> 
> You can find me at my : [twitter](https://twitter.com/rukiasrsr) =)


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